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| 10:26am 14/03/2004 |
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mood:  Smug music: Hating you
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Huh, after all you put me through
You'd think I despise you
But in the end, I wanna thank you
'Cause you make me that much stronger
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, nuh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard you're going 'round
Playing the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes, you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
No more, nuh uh, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me
I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turnin' back
I've had enough
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember
Thought I would forget
But I remember
I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter |
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| I'm sicky. :( |
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| 03:30am 09/02/2004 |
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mood:  determined music: Britney - Toxic
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I'm sorry I have not been here for a while, I have been at the hospital living off of saltine crackers and ice chips. It seems my chronic susceptibility to illnesses is generated by a disease that causes weakness of the immune system and the production of white blood cells is absent, or the cells work poorly, which in my case, it's the latter.
Severe Combined Immunodeficiency is the disease, however, I do not possess this disease, but a similar form of it. There are few differences that I have aquired. Basically, my immune system has always been weak since birth, I have always had a weak immune system, causing my body to be very susceptible to illnesses, including cancers, however, I have never had any cancers, though it is possible that I may have cancer in the future. Though, from what I gathered, 7 out of the 12 pills I take a day rebuild my immune system and boost my production of stronger white blood cells. When I am strong enough, I will recieve a choice of treatment for this, either bone marrow or stem cell transplantation, which will correct my immune system defect after atleast 6 months.
Usually this disease is diagnosed in infants, and though I was always a very sick infant, it must not have been that severe if I was not diagnosed with it earlier. Or.. I did have the disease but it did not develope until later years. Which is uncommon, but very possible. Since my form of the disease is weaker and different from the more common form, I am not *as* susceptible to diseases as a person with the common form is.
The worst thing that could happen is that I could come under a severe fatal infection and I would have to be in sterile isolation. Yet, since my body is older and more developed than an infants, and my form is weaker, it'd be unlikely. Cancer is the thing to watch out for the most, but even that is unlikely.
I'll live, so even though this is serious, it's not like I'm really going to die, not without a fight. So don't worry. Until I'm over this virus that I have now, I'm in bedrest with my laptop, I just got home yesterday and have been asleep ever since, which is the best thing. Eating crackers and drinking water..bleh. Oh well, it could be worse, which is obvious. All I can do is pray and wash my hands so I won't get sick. |
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| Hahahaha |
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| 04:17pm 01/02/2004 |
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Well, since Rykani deleted my thread on the boards I figured we'd pick up here. Considering she can't delete anything that's not hers here. Anyway.. anyone's free to comment on what was on the boards about my multiple personalities, and me coming clean about it.
Anyway, onto ranting! Rykani posted this in her journal.
>"gaaaahhhh... and now she wants so badly to meet up with kitty chair. after she was ready and willing to try an ask him out, even though she knew he and i >are together. AND she had a boyfriend??? poor Justy. just. GOD. fucking people. i need a shotgun :( "
Apparently, she misunderstood. I don't want to meet her 'kitty chair', and if she had payed any attention in the room that night she would have noticed that Shippo was just playing when she said.. whatever it was she said about Yusiveight and Saotome hooking up. "Ready and willing" to ask her 'kitty chair' out? Any moron can fucking tell her that I don't want to date her boyfriend. Maybe she's giving yourself.. or him too much credit. If Shippo hadn't've been so stupid that wouldn't have happened. I wasn't dating "Justy" at the time either.
I figured I should address this to everyone to clear it up. I don't want her thinking I wanted to date Sao. I know she's smarter than that.
And for the record. I want to meet only Kyle.
I don't know.. Maybe she was just -trying- to start more shit, it wouldn't surprise me. I had nothing against her, but if she was outright lieing to try and get more people pissed, then now I have something against her.
Love |
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| 03:58am 31/12/2003 |
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mood:  irritated music: Something InuYasha-ee.
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Okay, so now I'm using this journal. I finally finished getting it fixed up. <3
Someone, make Justin get online. :C |
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